jan: well michael, i underestimated you.
michael: yeah? well maybe next time, you will estimate me.
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michael calls oscar faggy, who he later finds out is actually gay.
michael: can you tell who's gay and who's not?
dwight: of course.
michael: what about oscar?
dwight: absolutely not --
michael: well he is.
dwight: he's not dressed in women's clothes..
michael: *sigh* there could be others.. i need to know.. i don't want to offend anyone else.
dwight: you could just assume everyone is, and not say anything offensive.
michael: yeah. i'm sure everyone would appreciate me treating them like they're gay.
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andy: i'm always thinking one step ahead.. like.. a carpenter.. who makes stairs.
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jan: hello michael, returning your call, said it was urgent.
michael: jan, i would like to say happy birthday.
jan: it is not my birthday.
michael: oh i thought we had the same birthday...
jan: *sigh*...happy birthday michael.
michael: *smiles* thanks.
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michael: why don't you grow something that everybody likes.. grow candy.. nobody likes beets.
dwight: *blank look*
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jim: bears. beets. battlestar gallactica.
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